Dear Vacation Diary, Installment 2

Wednesday 3/31/10
Dear Diary,
I have a secret fear and it's like something out of the Twilight New Moon series...It's that poor little Annabelle would be swooped up by a hawk. This is something that can actually happen out here in the boonies where a plentiful abundance of owls and hawks the size of a Yaris swoop down and make off with our cats and tiny Paris Hilton dogs! I've never verbalized this fear to anyone, not even Dave, but it was something I was going to eventually warn The Queen about before she dogs sits while we are in Bermuda, of which i fully expect her to laugh at me and pee herself while doing so. Just imagine my shockorror (shock and horror...i told u I make up words!) when The Queen tells me in passing conversation today that she has a hawk living in her trees. Oh! My! Effing! Gawd! I explain my secret fear and we have a good chuckle. This is going in the dear diary blog I tell her. She laughs and tries to calm me by telling me it's just a one eyed disabled hawk. Ok so that means it will just run Annabelle over with it's handicapped accessible van? Does it have a handicapped placard to prove said disability? A Doctors note even? Hawks can't be trusted! You've seen Warner Brothers' Foghorn Leghorn get his ass kicked by that unassuming little chicken hawk in those cartoons haven't you? Not to be trusted I tell ya! "Go away boy, ya bother me!"