I know being mad at God is about as illogical a thought as you can have but I'm no Mr Spock so mad at God is how I feel today. I know it's wrong but I'm sure many have felt this way at one point or another in their life. I don't get mad at God very often, in fact it's a very rare occasion. Life is wonderful, life is great and when it's not; bring it on God, gimme your best shot. I'm gonna bounce back no matter what, just give me the strength to get through it is all I ask. EXCEPT when a dog dies. THAT takes me a little lower and a little longer to bounce back from that dark place. My heart shatters into a million tiny little puzzle pieces every time this world loses a dog. And it's been a pretty rough several months in the passing-of-dogs department. We lost Brady, Daisy Mae, Cinnamon and now Ty, a 5 year old amazing Boxer who had debilitating bone cancer that had to be put down yesterday. These aren't my own dogs, they are dogs I take care of for my clients but I treat them and love them as if they were my own and they died too young. Ty died too young dammit! And that's really why I'm mad at God today. If I'm mad can you imagine how their owners feel? I weep for their sorrow. I sob for the dogs pain and passing. I cry for myself that I'll never see them again. How can i NOT be mad at God? Surely there are other creatures on this planet that are ripe for the taking; a wild animal just hit by a car needing to be put out of its misery. Or an elderly patient suffering from end stage cancer. Or a criminally insane death row inmate convicted of doing unspeakable things. Or a young driver in a car accident laying in a coma never to recover. Surely, surely God you can take them and leave us to love our dogs just a little bit longer. A selfish request, I know. One for which I will not apologize. The only thing that can keep us going is the wonderful memories. We must somehow find solace in knowing that a body is just a living, breathing, temporary container that begins to die the minute it's born that houses our spirit. When the body dies that spirit moves on to live in places that we are unaware of except for that little bit of spirit that takes up residence in our hearts forever. Once we get past the grief we should consider ourselves lucky if we have a dog's spirit living in our heart.
R.I.P. Ty 3/20/05 - 11/21/10
:( Ty.
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