Two Years Too Sad

So today was the big day; 2 years since Alexis died. I actually did ok with it (surprisingly). Making the memorial video was very cathartic. There's something about playing (over and over while you rework the video) the song that makes you weep in pile on the floor. By the time the video is done, you're all cried out and you've practically rendered the song useless. Practically! I think all the build up to the anniversary day is what gets me all worked up. I'm making a conscious effort to move on and get back to happy.  It's hard though because moving on means letting go and letting go means you start to forget things and I dont ever want to forget any single aspect of her. Holding on means she's here with me, not really gone. I dunno sounds kinda stupid but I think that's why I've been holding on to my grief for dear life for two years. If I let go, she's really REALLY gone.  But I'm sick of being sad to be honest and I need to be fair to Elvis to let him take up a place in my heart. I need to be fair to myself too. I need to be fair to Dave who's been putting up with me.

(unfortunately blogspot won't let me upload my video tribute WTF)

One Year Forward, Two Years Back

Monday will be two years since Alexis died. I KNOW you're all sick of hearing about it...you want ELVIS stories. tuff shit!  Not a single solitary day goes by that I don't think about her. And it's not just once a day it's ALL FUCKING DAY.  I'm such a mess. Still Angry! It's like she just died. I feel no further ahead than I did last year at this time. And that pisses me off! I'm trying so hard. I read my blog post from her one year anniversary and I was all "I'm feeling better, moving on, wonderful life, blah blah blah" ...shut the fuck up one-year-ago-Amy! I so feel like i was a step ahead back then and now I'm two thousand steps back. It's probably just the anniversary that's getting to me. (And it doesn't help that Monday is also the 7 year anniversary of my brothers death too)  I'm sure once the date passes I'll be able to move on a little more. (there's the optimistic Amy i know poking her head out!)   I'm sure I'll post something on Monday so I'll see you then!  Can't wait to see what next years anniversary post looks like.   

GREAT!

This is an amazing video. (Even if it IS by  Purina; the worst dog food on the planet--Insert gagging noises here). If you're ever feeling overwhelmed by your new dog or puppy because he isn't great yet, just watch this video and listen to the song by Tony Rogers to remind you what it's all about and to keep looking ahead to the big picture; you're raising a good dog to be a GREAT dog. It might not be great right this second, but you will get there if you keep at it. I promise!  

Baby Boy Lost

You turned 9 months old today. Boy how time flies and bodies grow! I walked into the bedroom and there you were all curled up in a ball sleeping so sweetly in your crate (on an heirloom quilt by the way; so spoiled!) It catches me off guard how big you are now, nearly 75lbs.  Where did my little tiny baby boy go?

 

Walkin In A Winter Wonderland

Close to 500,000 people in Southeastern Massachusetts are without power after Blizzard of 2013 "Nemo" ... stupid name! I can't believe they're naming winter storms now...everyone loves to name things; their car, their gun, their fish, hurricanes and now snow storms. Hmmmm makes me think back to my 2009  "What's In A Name" blog post. Man, that thing comes up all the time! It's some of my best work. Anyway, I was getting off track...where was i? Oh yes, people without power. So there they are huddled around the fireplace or wood stove, wrapped in twelve blankets, taking showers at friends-with-heat houses or abandoning their homestead for warmer refuge all the while cursing Nstar or National Grid or Middleboro Gas and Electric, swearing as God as their witness that they WILL get a generator this time and never go electricity-less again! (in a southern accent of course) Everyone....except...ELVIS! I swear he doesn't know he's a Doberman. He thinks he's a Husky or Norwegian Elk Hound or some other double coated fur ball because he's been frolicking in the snow for five days now. Even during our own 15 hour power outage, which is nothing compared to some people who are going on their fifth day without power, he was having a blast running around in the snow, sitting by the fire, trying to make chew toys of the wood pile. He was so bizzy frolicking that he didn't even notice that the tennis balls went on hiatus due to the inevitability of getting lost til spring in two feet of snow. We (ha! Dave) even snowblowed a maze for him in the back yard and what does Elvis do? He bounds out of the maze and trudges his way through the chest-deep snow to get the fallen sticks and branches that are sticking straight up out of the snow. The boy ain't right i tell ya! But I just love how very little phases him.

The HVAC guys help train my dog

nyumm nyumm nyumm

 

There's nothing like having new duct work installed in your house and using it as an all day training exercise for your puppy!  I know alot of dogs that would be freaked out by all the banging, the drilling, the coming & going (and there's even some singing). OH but not Elvis! It's a chance for him to make friends and follow them around the house and then ambush them when they're kneeling on the floor to smell their caps and lick their ears (and of course whine when they go back downstairs and stop paying attention to him). For me it's a good chance to work on his social skills and how NOT to jump on people when they come over...and a good chance to work on his recall. Every time the workers come up from the basement Elvis runs to greet them, then I call him back (and he comes a'runnin).  I'm also throwing in a little "gently take a treat from my mouth" training. Mmmm salty! (closed course; professional driver; dont try this at home!)  Gonna go through ALOT of treats today....They didn't put THAT in the work estimate!

Shameless plug:  Silvia HVAC 508-946-5377  ask for Colleen or Bob and tell 'em Amy & Elvis sent you!

DOOPIE

Well, time has flown by and my once little, baby-boy Elvis is turning into quite the handsome young man. At 8 months old (today) and 71 lbs he's as big as most of the adult dogs in daycare so needless to say when he's done a'growin he's going to be a beast. A sweet beast though.  He's just so happy and lovable all the time and just wants to play, play, play. He's great with other dogs and shares his toys and food; well maybe share isn't the word. It's more like he taunts the other dogs to chase him with his food and toys in a very na-na-na-na-naa-na-you-can't-get-me way. But when he's done being silly, he's not possessive of toys and food. His favorite toy is, you guessed it, a tennis ball. The world stops for a tennis ball. Sure, he'll settle for some other cylindrical object but a tennis ball is the Pièce de résistance. Oh and sticks. He loves a good stick. Hey, he's a green dog what can I say; very concerned about the environment.  And the burning question you're all wondering is how many nick-names does he have? Oh you people know me so well! Mostly I call him Baby-Boy (pronounced b-a-a-a-yby boy) but I also call him Doopie. I know; you're thinking wtf is doopie? Well, let me explain...When I take him outside to do his "business" I tell him to do peepie-poopie-doodies and that kind of morphed into go poopie-doops then into poopie doopie.  POOF the nickname Doopie was born like a five pound baby mud cat. Oh i know you think I'm nuckin futs, who doesn't? But if you think that's nuts you should really read one of my very early blog posts Whats In A Name and you'll fully understand the depths of my lunacy. And by the way spell checker is going to have a field day with this post! I keep spellchecker employed for sure....hope she doesn't ask for a raise.