Thursday, August 25, 2011

aaahhhhh Vacation!!!!!!



As much as I love dogs and all my surrogate dogs and all my customers and as much as I love my real estate job and all the agents I work with, everyone needs a break once in a while. Pretty much for the entire months of June, July and August I'm working 7 days a week. This time of year produces nary a day off so after a long, hot, sticky, bizzy summah when my annual time off finally comes at the end of august thru labor day I'm literally ready to kill someone. No-yeah, LITERALLY! Shoot I hope I don't actually kill someone--Now that I've put it in writing it could be misconstrued as pre-meditated (life in jail) rather than a simple manslaughter (10 to 20). I don't want to see another dog, a poop, a wee-wee, a dog hair or a dog toy! I don't want to get another email or phone call or purchase and sale agreement or chase down another single document. I don't want to see or talk to another person in the human race. This time of year I shut it all down. No email, no face book, no phone calls, no friends, no nuthin' ... just me & hubby chilaxin! After all isnt' that what you all do when you go to your Cancun's and Bahama's and Turks & Cacaos and Cruises and Aruba's? Why should a staycation be any different?! That's how we recharge and refresh our brains! And my brain needs some serious recharging! SEE YOU IN 12 DAYS! Enjoy the rest of summah! Have a happy & safe Labor day!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Keratin Hair Adventure

This post has nothing to do with dogs...how refreshing...but you know me, I'm sure I'll fit in something about DOGS somewhere.

After hearing about Keratin treatments for the last several months and asking my hairdresser a thousand annoying questions about it I decided to go for the Keratin Express. How could i NOT do it; she gives me a huge discount because I take care of her dog! Plus I love her, she's awesome! Keratin treatments for those of you that don't know is a chemical that's put on your hair, then it's blow dried and flat ironed to seal it in. It fills in any gaps and dry spots and smooths the hair shaft to make it straighter, shinier and less frizzy and is also supposed to help your color last longer. Keratin Express lasts around 6 weeks. The full Keratin treatment lasts several months. The more you do it the longer it lasts each time as the chemical builds up on your hair. You have to use a special sulfate-free shampoo which I already have but I ordered the Wen Shampoo online. It won't arrive til next week and I'm NOT waiting that long to wash my hair! And yes, in addition to being a dogaholic, I'm a shopaholic. SEE i told you I work dog into this post! OK enough education on Keratin treatments. This is my keratin express hair diary:

Day one: Just stepped out of the salon and OMFG! My hair looks freaking amazing. I need to go clubbin or something to show this shit off! (i know--i'm not supposed to end a sentence with a preposition but DANG this shit needs to be showed OFF! And besides I told you a long time ago I make up my own rules when I blog) My hair is soft like buttah! and stick straight and feels thick! I have some fun funky colors in there too (pinks & dark purples) so i totally look like a rock star! I couldn't resist texting a few friends a pic of my new hair. Here see for yourself:





Rock star, am I right??? LOL

Day two: Slept on my hair and MAN is it flat today. Flatter than yesterday! Not sure I like day two but the softness it out of this world! Not gonna wash it for a few days just to preserve the treatment. (I only wash it every 2nd or 3rd day anyway). By end of the day I'm DYING to wash my hair to get the residue out but that's just me. I can't even stand hairspray in my hair. I don't use many products and if I do they are light such as leave in conditioner spray or anti-frizz spray. No mousse, gels or hairspray for me. Which is a sharp contrast to my party days of the 90's...WHERE'S MY AQUA NET??!! Yes it was I that killed the ozone layer! Oopsie, sorry about that.

Day three: Goin to the beach today so no real reason to wash my hair but i need a shower bad so I'm just gonna rinse it while I'm in the shower. ...OMG my curls are like gone! Did I just sound like a valley girl or WHAT? My hair is wavy but I can't be confused with Shirley Temple any longer. On the good ship lollypop!

Day four: Pony tail for work. Hair definitely looks a little greasy but it still feels so soft. I MUST wash it tomorrow for sure! I ordered the Wen Shampoo from QVC but it won't be here til net week (that will hafta be another product review blog post) so I'll be using my Enjoy Sulfate-free Shampoo and conditioner. The conditioner is DABOMB!

Day five: MUST....WASH....HAIR!!!!! ok I've gone four days without washing my hair and I'm freaking out. Can't take it anymore! BRB after my shower.........wash, rinse, repeat. ((play theme from Jeopardy here)). I'm BACK! The Keratin treatment is supposed to hold in color but some of my color isn't really permanent color--it's more play color, so just like before it looks like I killed a purple dragon in my tub! Purple blood spattered everywhere so that was a little disappointing but on the other hand my permanent auburn hair color for covering gray stayed put. (yes, I just admitted I have grays!) The best surprise so far was that after I towel dried my hair there was hardly any purple color on the towel! Next I just spray in a little leave-in conditioner and anti-frizz and out the door I go for a ride in the convertible. Yeah, that's how I dry my hair in the summer. Wait, back up a minute--I DID put some clothes on in case you thought I missed a step in my post-keratin-shower excitement. Letting it dry naturally, it dried wavy so Keratin treatment does not completely straighten your hair--at least not my hair. However, it's about 70% less curly than my natural hair and there is not one bit of frizz and it's super soft and shiny!! So far I'm loving it. Tomorrow we blow dry! How exciting!

Day six: Today was a miserably rainy muggy humid day--PERFECT for hair experiments! Got up, hit the gym, sweated my arsss off, got caught in a downpour on the way out of the gym and then proceeded to go in and out with the dogs all day. OOOH another dog mention! My hair was in a pony tail all day but there was some frizzing from all the humidadation (made up word--sorry i like to throw those in to make sure you're paying attention). I kept procrastinating my shower in leu of cleaning the house so here I am at 9:09pm just finished the day's hair adventure. The last thing i felt like doing was blow drying my hair but I did promise it to you yesterday so in the shower i went but i didn't wash my hair, just rinsed it. Afterward I combed in my usual spray leave-in conditioner and defrizz (pantene and john frieda if you must know) and blew it dry, no flat iron. And I'm glad i did blow dry it because OMG i'm GAWGEOUS! The dry time is not cut in half but it's definitely dries faster than before the keratin treatment and it's super glossy shiny and soft and there's no frizz at the ends like there would normally be when i blow out my locks. See for yourself below...apparently my laziness supersedes my vanity because I couldn't be bothered to put on make up for the pic so there I am in all my natural glory. So far I'm loving this Keratin treatment. The big test for tonight will be to go outside for a few minutes and see what this muggy weather does to my hair. I'll let you know tomorrow cuz I'm goin to bed!




Day seven: OMG today had to be the frizziest day of the year. I was in and out all day with the doggies (oooh another doggie mention) and not ONE frizz i tell ya! And I got so many compliments on my new hair! This Keratin shiznit is the shiznit!!!!!!!!!! I'm totally hooked! Oh great, another addiction!

OK so you're all wondering what my hair looked like BEFORE the Karatin...here you go: (i'm so freakin brave--i hope you appreciate this!)


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Good Grief Charlie Brown





I finally just finished my video tribute to Alexis yesterday. I've been trying to bring myself to work on it for 4 months and just couldn't do it; part procrastination/part denial because if I don't do the video then she's not really gone. I also haven't been blogging consistently for several months either. I didn't want my blog to become a sad graveyard but all I felt like writing about was how sad I am so in typical Amy fashion, i avoided it. But today I got inspired. I was catching up on the Queen of Cuisine's blog posts and read the one about her divorce (I'm such a bad friend and haven't read it in weeks and I know how she loves to get comments) A blog post about a divorce is an odd place to find inspiration, I know, but inspiration can come from anywhere and it usually comes just when you need it. I thought if The Queen, who keeps her feelings closer to her vest than I do, can put it all out there then so can I. That's what a blog is for isn't it? After all it was The Queen who inspired me to start this blog in the first place....And I'm so amazingly fabulous that people want to hear what I have to say whether it's good, bad, happy or sad. RIGHT? LOL I'm so full of myself!

Believe it or not when Alexis died I was perfectly ok with it; alright, maybe not perfectly ok. I bawled but my utter gratitude for having this amazing animal in my life kept me from really feeling any grief at all. (thank you The Secret) After the first several days there was really no crying, just pure gratitude and lots of denial and bits of anger. I literally had to force myself to cry. I was worried at the lack of emotion over losing something that I told myself for 12 years I would not be able to live without. I thought there was something wrong with me but I also knew that my brain was probably in survival mode and the real grief would come soon enough so enjoy this while you can.

Shortly after Alexis died I went to a birthday party for a friend. I was a little nervous to drink because that usually sets emotions free and gets the waterworks started...nope! Shortly after that we went to dinner with friends and ended up at karaoke. Translation; copious amounts of drinking and vomiting but still no crying. Shortly after that was my own birthday party...drinks ahoy, bar hopping, no driving, party-party-party but still no waterworks ...Hey maybe I should have called this blog "My Kingdom For A Drink!" But then slowly somewhere into the 4th month after Alexis died (which seems like a friggin eternity by the way) the sadness has crept up on me. I told Dave I think I'm a little depressed and he said "oh, you're more than just a little depressed." Here I thought I was hiding it so well. I've apparently approached the curled-into-a-ball-weeping-inconsolably stage of grief (no, that's not in the handbook) and I cry every day now. Certain songs make me cry. Certain moments make me cry. Pictures make me cry. I cry driving in my car....hell, a tampon commercial makes me cry! It starts off as a weepy sadness then that burning in your nose starts and then comes the sobbing. I have little control over it so I just let it happen. Yes I'm crying right now in case you were wondering. Tito get me a tissue! (Thank God I still have my sense of humor!) I'm just so lost, weak and broken with out her I don't know what to do. The other night I missed her so bad that I asked her--no, I begged her to come to me in a dream and SHE DID! It was soooo real; she was curled up in bed with me. It was a great dream; one of those dreams that when you woke up you thought it was real...but it triggered a lot of emotion that won't stop rushing to the surface. There's nothing I can do I guess so again in another form of typical Amy fashion, I'll just write about it.




I'm a firm believer in allowing yourself to feel your feelings even if it's only in private when no on else is around. Life is meant to be lived and FELT! That's how we grow, evolve and gain wisdom. I'm also a firm believer that time heals all wounds and I know this too shall pass and I will arrive at that place where a scab has formed on the wound and I can have fond memories of her without crumbling into a heap on the floor. But can someone please tell me when that's supposed to be so I can mark it on my calendar along with the end of the world, hell freezing over and pigs flying, thanks.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Citronella Bark Collar Experiment





Suffice it to say, in 9 years of doggie daycare the only real PIA barker was none other than my ALEXIS. Sure there's been a few yip yaps here and there but nothing too terribly out of control. Barking is not allowed at D2D and I've done pretty well to hold all the doggies to that rule for 9 years...that is, until Max the Great Dane came along! "Big Mack" I call him! A sweet, goofy, love of a dog but he's a bit on the insecure side and never gets used to the every day noises in his environment so he's always on guard plus he gets so darn excited at the prospect of meeting someone new; at home and at D2D. And it's a big bark too...140 lbs of bark to be precise. He just goes coo-coo-crazy-nuts-for-you when every dog gets dropped off and picked up. As soon as someone pulls in the driveway he starts up. I can usually get him to calm down but the minute I go out the door to greet someone he starts back up and obviously I can't be in two places at once so for the most part there's not a whole heck-of-alot I can do about the barking. Some days I have 10 dogs here so that's 20 barking fits plus when the neighbors go by walking their dogs and the kids on bikes go by. With Max's owners permission I got a citronella bark collar and put it on him today.



He didn't mind the collar being on at all. I ignored the package directions that said to let him get used to the collar for a few days--Who has time for that in this hurry-up-and-wait-I-want-instant-gratification society? Besides, I'm a rebel! Of course my first attempts to psyche him out by knocking on the door and pretending I was talking to someone outside failed to produce a bark. (Alexis ALWAYS fell for that one!) That's always the way isn't it though...you take your car to the mechanic but they can't reproduce that funny sound it's making! So I waited like a hunter in the brush for the the neighbors and their dogs to go for their daily walk; I left the front door open so Max had a clear view. Once he saw them he let out a low bark and the thing sprayed him in the face like a skunk. I half expected him to jump up and hit the ceiling but he just jumped back a bit and I'm preeeetty sure I heard him say "good gawd what in the name of all things four legged was that??" But it shut him right up! So then I led him out into the front yard so he could get a better view as they walked up the street and he let out a little huff bark and SWISH he got another blast. About 10 minutes later they came walking back and by now I think he's picking up on the fact that he shouldn't bark and he lets out a low guttural growl instead and SHHPURT again, the growling immediately stopped. (spell check is gonna hafta work overtime on this post!) So far so good! Let's see what later today brings during doggie pick-up time! Can't wait! Hopefully Max remembers this mornings lesson.



OOH WAIT! unexpected mid-day lesson; the unpredictable sometimes-at-10:00, sometimes-at-noon, sometimes-at-2:00 mailman happened to drive by as we were outside so I let Max have at it. He ran up on the porch, gave a low bark and PHHSSST! Then he ran up to the front gate, gave another low bark and SSHPPPRITZ! So far so good, he never does more than one bark with this collar. Normally he'd go into a bit of a barking frenzy. The true test will still be later on when people start pulling in the driveway for pick up time. So far I'm liking this collar. Very effective. I better refill the citronella to be ready for later.



Oh such disappointment at pick up time! I had such high hopes but Max couldn't contain his excitement when all his doggie friends' parents pulled in the driveway. He barked so much he emptied the citronella reserve at pick up time. I tried again 2 days later when he returned for daycare that week only to repeat the emptying of the citronella reserve at a.m. drop off time. Alas, the citronella bark collar will be hung up on a shelf right there with the pet rock and the dog snuggie.


Friday, June 17, 2011

The Future of MKFAD blog

I'm not really sure about the direction or future of My Kingdom For A Dog blog without Alexis. I have a few draft posts on file about her so I will definitely be finishing those up and posting soon and then see where it all takes me. I still haven't brought myself to be able to work on her photo collage video tribute so that'll be a nice blog post as well. I guess there's still work to be done so the dog show must go on.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Unconditional Love and Unconditional Grief

I wrote this blog post below over a year ago when one of my D2D dogs passed away ... I never published it, not sure why. It's certainly a lighter perspective than the one I have today having lost my precious Alexis. But I know I will return to that perspective again and be able to focus more on celebrating the life and not so much on mourning the death. Not to downplay any ones loss but death is part of life. We must endure the sorrows as well as the joys to fully experience this thing I call a wonderful life.

"2/7/10: People are often caught off guard by how grief stricken they are when they lose a pet. Many people experience more sadness and grief by the loss of a pet than a family member or friend. But if you think about it, it makes sense. Whats the worst possible loss one can experience? I'm guessing it's the loss of a child. Not to insult people with children in any way but many pet owners simulate their relationship with their dog as one of parent and child. How often have you heard someone say their dog is "my baby" or "part of the family" or my very own "we don't have kids, we have fur-kids" so it would stand to reason the level of grief is elevated. After all, in my estimation, there is no other being on the planet like a dog that relies solely upon us to take care of them for their entire life and in return gives us unconditional love and never judges us, never tries to change us, gets excited to see us return whether we leave for a minute or a month, doesn't get mad if we leave dishes in the sink or come home late or leave the toilet seat up, loves us for who we are and doesn't care if we lounge around in our sweats all weekend or how much we weigh or what our breath smells like (in fact they'd much rather we didn't brush out teeth quite so much) or if we hog the blankets, eat the last of the ice cream or drink out of the milk jug (just as long as we don't drink out of the toilet--hey that's their territory!). It's as true and honestly unconditional as you can get. No other relationship on earth is like that. No wonder our world crumbles when we lose our best friend. I know I will crumble when I lose Alexis but it's a fact of life that I can do nothing about so I will crumble but I will put the pieces back together. The pain in the end will be worth it for all the joy that preceded it. That's certainly not something we feel at the time of the loss but it's true anyway. There was a time that I thought about my late Cornelius in such a way that "this is it, I could never love another dog as much as I love him; no way no how" but never say never and here I am thinking that very thing about Alexis. But to be totally cheesy and coin a phrase from a very popular song, i know my heart will go on. My heart breaks wide open every time this earth loses a dog but each crack inside makes more room to love the next dog that comes into our life. "

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Stolen Identity

By now, most of you know that we lost our beloved Alexis suddenly last week to what we believe to be a heart attack. She passed at home with me by her side, in her bed, under her favorite "woobie" that she had since she was a pup. It's a devastating loss. So if this post makes little or no sense or tends to ramble and babble on, well, then tough shit. Oops must be in the "anger" stage of my grief.

My heart is broken. My tear supply is gone. My soul is empty. My mind is numb. This page is blank. I don't know what to write. I don't know what to do. And I don't know who I am. So I keep myself bizzy to avoid the volcano eruption that is bubbling beneath this everything-is-fine-I'm-ok-don't-worry-about-me surface. I'm Doberman tough after all.


They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone (whoever the hell THEY are). Screw them, I knew exactly what I had! I had a sweet, amazing, incredible, strong, gentle dog that I was literally in love with, in awe of, and had a once in a life time connection with. A dog that I am ever so grateful for having in my life for almost 12 years. A dog that I fooled myself into believing would live forever. I just didn't realize how much of my identity had become being this Doberman's owner. Doberman this, Doberman that. Doberman pictures. Doberman quotes. Doberman screen savers. Doberman hats. Doberman tee shirts. Doberman friends. Doberman envy. Feed the Doberman. Ask the Doberman if she wants to go out. Let the Doberman back in. Let her back out. Watch in awe as the Doberman sprints around the yard. Tell Doberman not to eat the snakes. Play fetch with the Doberman. Watch Doberman play with all her day care friends. Bring Doberman over her BFF Willow's house to hang. Be awakened by the Doberman to snuggle. Be nudged by the Doberman when she wants something. Try to figure out what it is the Doberman wants. Be followed into every room by Doberman. Don't stray too far from home so you can get back soon to be with the Doberman. Don't go on vacation because you'll miss the Doberman too much. Jump up to get to the door before the Doberman does when someone knocks. Let the Doberman out on the front porch when suspicious characters are around the neighborhood. Blog about Doberman. Post Doberman pics on Facebook. Beware of Doberman signs. Doberman farts! (Don't laugh--ok you can laugh but it's a big part of who a Doberman is. Hey they're gassy!) Fluff the Dobermans bed. Take Doberman on trips to pet store to pick out toys and bones. Receive Doberman kisses & Doberman high fives. Dance with Doberman. Do Yoga with Doberman. Have snowball fights with Doberman. Take naps with Doberman. Buy matching ottoman as one of Doberman's beds. Watch Doberman fall asleep standing up with head in laps of friends and family who come to visit. Watch Doberman turn fearful people into ones who look forward to seeing her again. Take pictures of Doberman when she's not looking. Take pictures of Doberman when she is looking. Hug Doberman. Kiss Doberman. Touch Doberman every five seconds. Twirl Dobermans ears. Sing our song to Doberman. Tell Doberman you love her more than anything in life. Beg Doberman not to leave you. Ask Doberman what'll I ever do without her. So much for not knowing what to write. But I still don't know who I am.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Attack Of The Killer Snow Shovel

...Sounds like a good title for a Stephen King book doesn't it? There's this one quirk that Alexis has that has puzzled us since the very first snow storm she ever experienced as a pup. If she's in the vicinity while your shoveling snow she will attack the shovel! Best as I can tell she thinks the shovel is an evil monster. She crouches down, bites and barks at it. It's funny to see and hard to explain because it's not her usual I'm-gonna-get-you-sucka bark. It's more like a combination of her "help I'm stuck" bark peppered with her "c'mon let's play" bark with a dash of "i want to kill you." (My friend The Queen of Cuisine will simply love my food references) She even started to do it to the rake in the fall. Could it be that Alexis simply doesn't care for yard work!? Like mother like daughter!